Dots and dots and ...........................

13.11.12

Awake at 4 30am again.... my body clock is upside down... i woke up at 4 30pm today.... haish.... normal people will wake up at like 5/6/7/8/9/10am and sleep at like 9/10/11/12/1/2pm but me? 3/4/5am and wake up at 3/4/5pm if im not going out with anyone/only meeting people for dinner :x

Went to watch #AhBoystoMen today and i shall [if im not lazy] blog about it in another post....
[most likely not :x cause i barely took any pictures today and... i don't like blogposts which barely have pictures like this one :''''''''''( ]

Ok so now.... i am B O R E D and i have nothing to do so.... im thinking too much again T__T my worst bad habit...

and right now im thinking.... i have a whole long long loooooooooong list of bad habits and a very very short list of good ones... i know i know... if jen/carrot etcetc were to read this she would be like 'THINK POSITIVE' but i can't help it....

Once again i shall blame it all on the past... because tbvvvh it does have a lot to do with things that have happened before...

I hate it when i like.... think too much and feel sad... then ill like want to tell a friend but im always like... no.... this person i don't know if....cannot.....

So i will bottle it all up and just think like 'go home tweet on pa' [pa=private account on twitter]

sad thing is.... i have a million pas....
many with 1 person following, other than myself and a few with 0 followers....

I always just... not dare to really REALLY tweet feelings in my usual pa with 9 different followers :\ Not that i don't trust them.... i do. But.... not fully fully.....

I really don't know... who even wants to be close to me like seriously im so.... yuck

But then again.... whats meant to be will be right? If you're meant to be friends... you'll stay friends!

Friends come and go..... live with it. Someone can be here today and gone the next. One text can make a friend leave you. One tweet, One call, One WHATSAPP, ONE DM, ONE PM, ONE KAKAO, ONE ANYTHING~ ohmy why am i.... i hate the word whatsapp hahahhaha ok but never mind the point is.... friendsforever is something not everyone get to really enjoy....

If you have a friend whose really friendsforever with you.... keep him/her in a treasure chest and secure that chest with a million locks because that is just so so so precious....

Ok next sad thing is... feeling ugly LMFAO tell me which girl doesn't?
Oh wait i have some people in mind....

-People who call others ugly
-People who go 'im so much prettier/handsomer than her/him'

etc

But seriously...... if you dare call someone ugly... you must think you are damnnnn pretty. either that or you're just damn childish and immature lol some people are appearing in my mind and i'm thinking kiss my ass bitches.

If this were in an argument those people would probably be like 'beauty is on the inside' 'i never said i was pretty i think im ugly too' or what not but seriously.... next time you want to call someone ugly... take a look in the mirror and ask if you're perfect first....

If you really think 'im ugly' 'she's ugly' 'she's uglier than me' 'she ain't pretty' Then.... you must be saying God has bad taste because everyone he created so carefully turned out ugly.

So go dig a hole and bury yourself for calling someone ugly just because you dislike that person hahahah immature

But.... i think im.... not ugly..... but.... not pretty....

I was never a perfectionist but now im starting to be more and more....

I  know people are like 'huh you're insecure? then you can still take selcas everyday?'

My answer is haha actually you're right but yet you're wrong!

You're right cause yeah.... i HATE HATE HATE girls who like posts a picture and go 'im so ugly' because if you honestly think you're that ugly then why do you post a picture of your ugly self for the world to see? are you some comedian trying to make people laugh? or are you just a bloody attention seeker?

/posts a PROFILE PICTURE/ caption: I look so ugly in this picture
Status update:Me without makeup.... everyone will run away cause im so ugly i can dress as this for halloween -few moments later- /posts a picture/ caption: no make up face :)

whattttttt?????? 

Ok but why right? Thinking of rachel's blog post now.... HERE 

READ IT!

I am someone who takes pictures A LOT i camwhore like craji

But you see.... just cause im camwhore... doesn't mean im confident or i think im really pretty... ok wait let me rephrase... i camwhore=i don't think im ugly, i must think im pretty, but not really pretty

I post pictures taken from a certain angle in a certain way with a certain insta/whatever effect...

Without effect but with angle.... maybe still okay...
With effect with angle... maybe still okay...
Without angle or effect.... GFCUIGADSISADG /PUKES/

Thats why seldom pictures with idols look good u__u no angle!!!! effect also sometimes cannot save especially cause u're too excited to think and pose properly...

But really pretty pretty... just have to stand there. HOW I WISH I WAS PRETTY

Ok and my mum is now shouting at me to sleep and im like NOOOO and she's like NOOOOWWWWW so i shall save a draft and continue tomorrow maybe(if i stop now i probably won't continue) okay i shall end soon then....

WHY AM I TALKING TO MYSELF? ok ignore me im crazy

Another thing is.... Girls love looking at other girls pictures....

Especially me... forever stalking QiuQiu Rachel Peishi etc T__T

Sometimes its cause... they so pretty who don't like to see? sometimes its like.... looking at their pictures makes you imagine you're them... imagine you're that pretty? sometimes its just cause urgh i don't know! But girls just like to look at pretty girls pictures u___u

So which brings me to why im sad and i don't really know how to phrase this so no one will know who what where why i'm sad.... Theres this girl... i don't know her and she doesn't know me but i know she knows this person we both know WHATTTTT? O.o ok basically she's my friend's friend.....

I've been stalking her for a pretty long time now -inserts pedo face-

Because she's someone to someone whose someone to me :x GOSH IM SUCH A STALKER OMG
I stalked her blog.... until a few years back URGH ANDREA WHAT ARE YOU DOING

Fear me.

But throughout this whole time im like O_______O    _(OoO)_   \(OoO)/    |(OoO)|    \(OoO)/  _(OoO)_

Because she's so so so pretty ;__________; to me. Jen says she isn't but then again Jen says COUGHSOMEONECOUGH is pretty yet Jen OH JEN OH JEN OH JEN sometimes i wonder whats on her mind u___u

But yeah she's just soso pretty she's like perfect!

Then im here like.... oh andrea why are you like.....

But right now jen all will say 'you don't have to compare' 'you're pretty too' 'you're pretty on the inside' 'you're just as pretty' 'you're pretty in you're own way' 'we all love you for who you are and not for appearance'

But to be honest... i don't think my insides... are any better.... im.... im just not.... i don't know why i feel this way but i just feel.... this way...

So to guys who think im pretty and what not... i shall let you run away NOW

Because im not pretty without any make up (including contacts), not pretty on the inside, not gentle, not rich, not thrifty, im selfish, im messy, im damn violent, damn rough, short, not skinny, not hot, tina(belly fats) is my best friend, im not confident, im annoying, im noisy and loud, i irritate the shit out of people, i am easily jealous, i probably barely trust you, i am super impatient, i have crazy mood swings, im seldom truly happy and i can really go on and on all night......

Good points? im pretty-ish with make up. i'm not fat on certain days cause my fats are weird.... im fat today and hot tomorrow then damn fat the next day... stuff like that... and... im smart? /pui/ smart-ish..... i don't know what else....

People have said before... i am overly nice.... but that person didn't mean it in a good way so... /adds to the 'bad' list/ someone else said... i am very patient and have high tolerance towards my friends....true to an extent... but i bottle A LOT of things up cause i think faking a smile makes things easier for everyone and then again... people have said i treat my friends as queens so.... ill add that statement to the bad list too....

Oh well its like 5 20am now so.... i guess i should sleep.... excuse any grammar or spelling or what not mistakes because im too lazy to read my post and correct anything before posting so.... here goes nothing 





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