ANDREA'S

Going to uss tomorrow ^__^ EXCITED \M/ finally going to play and not chase idols haha!
Hope there won't be a crowd tomorrow though :x Since its not the school holidays yet everyone will still be in school and no one will be at uss right? :D LOLOL skipping school for uss :P But at least im not like jiamay or certain people right? u_u hmph thinking about those few people just makes me rage.... I've been so angry recently... The whole world just seems to be against me T_T

My grades are like shit... Ok TO ME my grades are as good as failures.... everything is like just pass just reach 60.... Only in Geog and English did i achieve the targets i had set for myself. To some people this is probably nothing but to me this matters a lot though i don't show it. Imagine living a life surrounded by high achievers. I hate thanks giving dinner and all those family gatherings and well my so called 'mum' doesn't try to make anything better. You talk shit about your own daughter what kind of mother are you?

Then i keep having thoughts about dropping fandoms... i mean just this malaysia trip is already stressing me out so damn much and i don't even need that much money for it... You have no idea how much i did to get enough for beautiful show... Money doesn't drop from the sky can?! I can't even get a proper job cause of minimum age requirements and i end up trying all ways any ways just to get money... Today i just ended up running around everywhere with rachel my legs almost died the moment i reached home.

Then i wonder... why am i doing all this? Yes i LOVE my idols a lot many even too much but is this all worth it? having to wake up in the middle of the night cause of an empty stomach cause of skipping meals to save money... Who doesn't know i eat A LOT? i remember i used to eat kfc.... then passing by mos i would buy more food then macs.... and then pepper lunch... That was just lunch! i still ate dinner like 4 hours later... But i can't even afford more than $6 of food each day now.... I cant buy all the clothes i want like i used to... I used to shop at fleas but now im trying to sell my shit like almost every week.... Is it all worth it? Everything has changed so much as well... ticket pricing? the guards? the fans? there's more tears then joy now... unlike last time when everything seemed so perfect... Everyone with their limits no flashing few grabbings less shouting less bitching less scolding less fanwars... Further more, except for jingying, almost everyone i first started stalking with have all left the fandom... Even kc! I really don't care whatever you have to say about her cause what matters to me is not the words you say without thought but its that she was nice to me so i don't see why i should bitch along. Some people just hate for the sake of hating. Bash for the sake of bashing. Don't you dare deny it! The words Forgiveness, Changing and Optimism aren't even in a fangal's dictionary anymore... But if i drop everything... it'll mean losing a lot of important people in my life as well.

But i'm just going to tell myself.... T.H.I.S   I.S   L.I.F.E   B.I.T.C.H.E.S


Rachel's birthday is coming soon! So is Stephanie's! Omo i've gotten Rachel all the presents i wanted to get her already... But i've got nothing for Steph :( No money to get anything either T~T LETMECRYINAHOLE
I shall just make a card as nice as i possibly could :) Heheh almost done with Rachel's bday book ^__^ Barely even did the video though but i shall just give up u__u Sobs i keep thinking every night before i sleep, about ANYTHING i've thought of so many things to do on rachel's bday but btob will probably ruin any plan planned cause their arrival will probably clash :[ But on the bright side, me lisha and jingying are going to bring rachel out this friday to..... *drum-roll* SENTOSA :D ok its nothing much but still!!!!!! I just hope nothing goes wrong :)

A smile is the most inexpensive accessory anyone could wear 
 Ill be meeting Geraldine this Saturday... Ok i think everyone is probably annoyed cause both of us keep on one moment ok one moment not okay like that :\ But truth is... We never did settle any of our problems due to some circumstances. I can't even tweet to her T_T its damn sad... the fact that you can't even tweet to your own friends cause an immature childish freak is just waiting to start another fight and find fault in you. Which is something i CAN stop and i AM :] in a way :\ If people want to find problems with you, give them your best :) Anyone would be able to find fault in anyone tbh.... So just try to be perfect :) What is there to fear when there's nothing to fear? Like for instance why fear the law when you know you didn't break the law? But no one is perfect after all and no matter what you do... Bitches will still be bitches back stabbers will still be back stabbers liars will still be liars thieves will still be thieves... Humans will still be humans
But its the thought that counts right? To change is hard to accomplish alone but easy when there's someone there helping you, caring for you. You have no idea how much strength care from your loved ones can give you. To know that someone cares is like knowing that God is with you anywhere anytime ♡

 So....... SMILE :D


 

 

Ok so a few days ago was a typical sunday... Woke up at 4pm and went online... ordinary sunday till i looked into the mirror and saw my ear... It was swollen like HELL and my earring disappeared :O At first i was like YAY \M/ Maybe it swell and swell and pushed the earring off~ I mean... its so tight and i just couldn't get it off when i tried changing earrings T~T Then when i went to bathe and was washing my hair.... the horror began. I realized that the backing was still behind my swollen ear and well...I PANICKED

I just washed all the soup off my hair and body as fast as i could and ran out to see whats with my ear. My mum thought that the stud had just broke off and she told me to just try to remove the needle and backing by pulling them out from the back. i tried and that was a BIG MISTAKE ok so i pulled and needle and backing... and it slid out till the tip got stuck and i was like 'WHAT WHY OMG WHATS IN MY EAR' i tried pulling a little harder and ended up screaming... Trust me, it hurt like a bitch! Then suddenly a lot of pas surfaced on the front of my ear lobe so i had no choice but to touch my ear to clean the pas away >_< Which brought even more horror cause when i was rubbing the pas away i could feel the ball inside my lobe... YES INSIDE THE LOBE!!! Its was scary i was so afraid i cried T~T I really didn't know what to do or what i could do all i could do was cry wait pray and hope~ i felt so vulnerable and super scared....

About an hour after discovering this dilemma i went with my family back to the shop where i got my ears pierced.... at pasir ris mrt and just my luck baby the auntie who pierced my ears wasn't there and instead there was the uncle who didn't even seem to know what he was doing _|_ he just tried to pull the whole stud out n i was like 'PAAAAAAAAAAAIN *SMACKS*' Then he told us to go to ANY CLINIC and that any clinic would have all the equipment etc etc. bullshit sia he doesn't even know what he's saying =__= After that we then went to eat dinner with me dying and only after dinner then we went to a clinic after that and the doctor said we had  to go to the A&E department of a hospital cause they don't have the equipment in clinics... So yeah by then it was like almost 10pm already... SO MUCH WASTED TIME T~~~T After the clinic we went to ntuc... hahas and then home to change/charge phone/prepare myself before going to the hospital...

By then i had seen all my mentions and texts from everyone and i was much less afraid than before already ^__^ Its a wonder how words can make such a big impact~ I love you all ♡♡♡ Ok so at the hospital it was pretty much just waiting and waiting for consultation after consultation~ it was like... see this doctor and then 'Please wait outside for another doctor to call your name' ok *name gets called* 'Please wait outside for the specialist to take a look' ok! but each time my name was called i always just started shivering... Like it was so scary, the whole experience... But well when i was finally brought into the room for the operation... i was shaking like mad and thank god for the nice nurse and doctor :] they changed the injection needles to smaller ones so it wouldn't hurt as much ^__^ But the moment i saw the needle i just immediately closed my eyes tight and covered them with my hand... all i remember after that was that she kept asking me 'does it still hurt?' then i was like 'yep' then she was like 'is the pain sharp?' i was like 'yep' then she asked at where and she injected again and again~ I don't even know at which part of the process was the stud removed though... all i remember was i kept screaming 'OUCH' 'PAIN' 'OMG' 'IS IT OVER?' paiseh much T~T

But soon it was all over ^__^ but i opened my eyes to see like A LOT of blood and i was like SHITTTTTT OMG AAAAAAAAAAH but i got over it :] Now my ear is just swollen~ But the bleeding has stopped though ^_^ and it doesn't hurt as much anymore :] H A P P Y though i still look like dumbo :x

OHOH AND I ALSO SAW RACHEL AT AMK!!!!!! yes rachel! the blogger :] hehe she's so pretty! and her hair is GORGEOUS omg i wanted to take a picture with her >__< But i looked like shit at that time T~T Ahah hopefully i see her again soon ^___^

Now... i just feel so saved~ so happy~ so alive~ so safe~ im just glad that everything went well ^__^

Met Kayleigh Jen and Bunny today~ Apparently i've been meeting these girls almost everyday now~ But hehe i enjoy it ^~^ i also realized i've been saying hehe a lot recently O_O hehe :3 hehe :] hehe \m/ hehe ^~^ hehe hehe hehe hehe hehe hehe hehe hehe hehe hehe

We went to city link first, then suntec, plaza sing and somerset. We got so many random shit! But bunny didn't get the shirt she wanted :( hehe but nvm theres always a next time since cotton on is EVERYWHERE \m/ I just love these girls so much~ With them im always smiling :3 hehe :3 lalala :D haha

OMG BUT WHEN I WAS ON THE WAY TO MEET THEM..... THERE WAS THIS BLOODY ANNOYING FUCKER ON THE MRT!!!! Like wtf ok first he just stood beside me n i was 'okay.... maybe he just wants to lean against the board thingy too' then he kept coming closer =__= and his leg kept rubbing against mine n my mind was like 'WTF U WANT LUH' Then more people got off the train and im like 'so much space STAND SO CLOSE TO ME FOR WHATTTTTTTT' Like as though he my friend like that _|_ fucker! then he kept touching my leg so i stepped on his feet n he fucked off for a while then came back again... my mind at that moment 'WHY THE EFF DID YOU COME BACK Dx' Then he kept leaning towards me n bending to see my phone FOR WHO KNOWS WHAT REASON! I want watch kaotsun's covers in peace also cannot want watch mvs also cannot want watch fancams also cannot want to text also cannot CAUSE OF THAT FUCKER! Like really SO UGLY SOMEMORE! If i ever see him again..... i'll glare..... glare.... glare... THEN ATTACKKKKK! i want to break his leg~ wan rub some more? i rub for him until break bah hehe :] break liao ill continue glaring u__u

Hehe but after meeting the girls my mood changed instantly and i was happy again :3 See the magic???? hehe ^~^ We walked and walked and ran here and there and bunny was playing with some scooter thingy at carefour HAHAHHAHA i think we're crazy~ But who cares :3

After going to somerset we immediately went to scape \m/ F L E A B A B Y F L E A ♡ 
Saw Cal while walking to the sky terrace and LOL that pabo! before that she called me and was like 'I THINK I SAW ________' and i was on the train and i don't know why but i heard 'I THINK I SEE A GUN' HAHHAHA But thank god we saw no gay there today u__u or my mood would've been ruined D: Bought so many awesome shit at the flea for superrr cheap :] AND SOMEONE WHO WAS PROBABLY LAZY TO TAKE STUFF HOME LEFT A PAIR OF WEDGES THERE!!!! JUST MY SIZE! UIDSGSDIGSD AND SUPER COMFY AND GORGEOUS OMGOMG  HAPPYGIRL98 

 hehe :3 


This shorts were $1.20!!!!!!!! unbelievable? BELIEVE IT! It was supposed to be $2 u__u but i bargained it down to $1.20 cause i had no money AND IM CHEAPO! HAHAH then i self studded it and TADAH 8D 
I know you likeitlikeitlikeit :]






These 2 
<<<<<<<<
              >>>>>>>>
$1 for both :3 
But they're super nice right? \m/ admit it! you're jelly :P hahas
THESE 3 FOR $2!!!!!!!!! HAHAHHAHA omg im so cheapo~ LOL but its like the white tank is zara so the material is like SYUGASYUADS the brown blouse's material is like super thin! I LIKE \M/ Hehe and the black shirt just looked nice :\ LOL then when i tried on the black shirt Jen was like 'OMG You look like a business woman! don't ever wear that!' then at other times they always say 'You very ahlian leh' sobs next time ill leave home naked u___u hehe :3




After being satisfied with all we have.... we decided to walk around cine for like an hour before heading home :3 Hehe and while walking to the mrt/to find something to drink, h&m was playing their porn like advertisement LOL and we ended up talking about the pollution of our timeline and how some people probably watch porn and masturbate u__u ADMIT IT NOW IF YOU'RE ONE OF THEM! HAHAHAH 




Postable Chargeable Doraemon Elastic HEHEHEHEH BOO BOO *THUMBS UP*

do you understand our alien language? :3 OBV NO U__U cause you aren't an alien like us :3 HEHE 

Went to Ikea with Jen & Kayleigh today :) we were supposed to STUDY! but we ended talking eating and drawing then there was no more time to study cause Jen had to meet Nicole for the sungha polaroid :( I BOUGHT A MATH ASSESSMENT BOOK WHICH COSTED ME $7 FDYUGFAYUYGUF I NEED TO DO IT! or i would've wasted $7 :( We can never study together! hahas #forever but at least Jen got her polaroid today ^~^ we waited so long for her to collect it T~T We sat at some bench (?) and we were like o__o *waiting* O____O WHERES JEN? o___o *waiting*


 But she was so happy when she got it! :D

After that we just ate dinner and went home~ First time reaching home so early after going out with them! :3
Around 2 hours after i reached home Geraldine texted me asking if i was free and i immediately knew something happened... tbh at first i was like just okcan until she called me and she was crying T~T i hate it when people cry otp! I won't be able  to hug them :( URGH memories T~T

Then otp once geraldine managed to stop crying she told me what was happening to her and it was then when i decided i don't want to lose her ever again. She's going through the exact same thing as me... It became so easy to talk to each other all of a sudden cause we could relate to each other~ i was holding my tears as i spoke... Memories never fade in my heart. I remember more than you expect~ Fun times Sad times First meetings Conversations i remember too much and thinking about some memories just make my eyes burn up.

But i already told myself.... NO MORE TEARS ON BITCHES so i just held them back... Cause im happy the way i am now :) With everyone around me~ and now Geraldine is back <3 I don't need certain people to be happy~ If you cant care less about me n MY GOD FORSAKEN FEELINGS then i shall not care either :) Im just going to carry on with life :)




i remember......
Jen: When life gives you lemons what do you do????
Me: Squeeze them!
Jen: NO
hehehhehehheh :3 when life gives you lemons, make lemonade AND ADD SUGAR 8D

I've cut down on vulgarities and hating :) i only hate 2 people now  \m/ so proud of myself~ ^~^

Asked Cal for daphne's number previously today... I TEXTED HER haha n seriously.... i just hope she and cal both will be okay with each other again :\ There are obviously many misunderstandings among them and too little self reflection... HAAAAA but she agreed to take a breather and maybe talk to cal after a while.... so, problem solved hopefully? 8) Time heals wounds~ But if she says anymore shit about bunny or shipei again... karma shall kill~

Met Shuqi today :) i actually studied! hehe after walking around like everywhere to find a place to settle down! We ended up settling for coffee bean \m/ $6.50 IS SO WORTH IT FOR THE HOT DOUBLE CHOCOLATE WITH MARSHMALLOWS 8) cravings cravings~ i think ill buy it again tmr~ Shuqi bought the cold one... her favourite! hahas but it costs more :[ omg i feel so cheapo but no choice what this is called being brokefangirl98 T~T FUCK IM SO LAME  


As usual, my dear pabo was complaining she was tired again.... so we stopped studying and started blinging my polaroid, wasting the films, bitching and what not :3 i supaluv my polaroid now but i bet a lot of people are going to judge me for it u__u hmph but i shall choose not to care... especially about that freaking attention seeker =__= LOL GO GET A LIFE YOU TWO-FACED BITCH~ Each time i see you on my timeline i just slam whatever in front of me... But i should also thank you right? With you spreading shit about me ill know who are my true friends and who aren't... those who believe your shit will be those who don't deserve a space in heart.... but whatever